Tuga i radost / Sorrow and joy

Prepoznajem u tebi ono što je i u meni... Kada nas boli neki odnos, obično zbog razočarenja, teško nam je slušati ili gledati osobu koja je u tu bol uključena. Kad osjetimo taj ubod boli, to nam je sigurni znak da nismo preboljeli situaciju, osobu... da još uvijek zamjeramo, tražimo pravdu... što god... Bitno narušene međuodnose obično ne možemo riješiti s drugima, već prvenstveno sa sobom i to tek kad se odmaknemo i postanemo nepristrani promatrač. Sve je tako relativno, doista... i nevažno, zapravo. Zar ćemo dopustiti da nam neka situacija pokvari čitav život? Na žalost, to dopuštamo, više ili manje, svjesno ili ne... da se situacije skupljaju dok konačno ne naprave nered... I doista je opraštanje, sebi i drugima, jedino, konačno rješenje koje oslobađa. Istovremeno teško i lagano... doista je to stvar ega... vezali smo se, shvatili osobno... ali, što je tu je... to treba rješavati... ne možemo samo baciti u jamu ili pod tepih. Ponekad, osobito kad se naljutimo jedan na drugog, razmišljam o tome... kako je lako pronaći sranja koja smo si radili i zanemariti sve ono što je dobro... i mislim si kako se ljutim zbog ovog ili onog i kako si napravio to i to... i onda stanem i počnem se smijati i plakati jer je stvarno bezveze da sve to skupljam i zbrajam samo kad sam ljuta... Zašto bih to radila uopće? Bolje da priznam sama sebi da sam ipak željela druženje s tobom i da su sve to posljedice, cijena, preuzimanje odgovornosti... i da mi je drago što sam te upoznala... i da volim biti tvoja prijateljica... i da bih željela idući put, ako se posvađamo, ne misliti 'što mi je to trebalo' ili nešto slično... i ljutiti se... U to ime, probajmo vidjeti dobro u drugima, bez obzira kakva su nam sranja radili (ili drugima)...

I recognize in you that what is also in me… When some relationship hurts us (disappointment is usually the reason), it is hard to listen or to look at the involved person due to the pain. When we feel the sting of the pain, this is the sure sign that we did not overcome that situation, that person… that we are resenting, looking for the justice, still… what ever… Substantially broken relationships we usually cannot solve with others, but primarily with ourselves. And that happens only when we distance ourselves from the situation and become an impartial observer. Everything is in reality so relative… and indeed not important. Should we let one situation to spoil all our life? Unfortunately, we let it be so, consciously, or not… we gather the situations until they make mess… In reality forgiveness, to oneself and others, is the only solution which liberates us. At the same time, it is hard and easy to do… realy it is the matter of ego… we had attached ourselves to something, took it personaly… but, what can we do… it needs to be solveed… we cannot just trow it down the hole, or under the carpet. Sometimes, especially when we are angry with each other, I think about it… how easy it is to find all bullshit which we made to ourselves and to deny everything what was good… and I think how angry I am because of this or that and how it is your fault… and then I stop myself and start to laugh and cry, because… it is nonsense to collect and accumulate everything only when I am angry… Why should I do that, at all? It is better to tell myself that I wanted relationship with you and all of that are just consequences, the price, taking responsibility… And I am glad to know you… and I like to be your friend… And next time, I would like, if we got angry, not to think ‘why I needed that’ or something… and get mad… So, let us see good in others, does not metter what they did to us (or to others)…