Zbunjivanje? / Mystification?

Baš sam si ovih dana razmišljala kako mi je masa stvari jednostavnija kad sam u vezi… Naravno, ako sam u vezi koja me previše ne sputava... mislim, ako me druga strana bar donekle može pratiti… i ja njega, naravno... Tako se puno slobodnije krećem u društvu... jer, s obzirom na moju, kako si to nazvao, žensku energiju… izazivam dvije osnovne reakcije… pozitivnu i negativnu... ha ha… Ova negativna je češća, naravno. Kod muškog spola je negativna, zato što oni skuže da ih nešto privlači, a obično su zauzeti pa postanu nervozni... ili ih nešto privuče, ali imaju potrebu dominirati pa... Kod ženskih je reakcija često negativna jer se osjećaju ugroženima... žene su nesigurne i onda počinju zapišavati svoj teritorij. Tako da, ja se uopće ne osjećam dobro u takvom okruženju i ne da mi se nikome dokazivati da ja nemam afiniteta prema onome što njih plaši i onda se povlačim. Znači, ne mogu djelovati u tom okruženju. Jednostavno se povučem. Kad sam s nekim, onda je manja opasnost od takvih reakcija ... jer  kad imaš mužjaka pored sebe, podrazumijeva se da si podmirena i da nećeš tražiti okolo i onda to bolje funkcionira, bla... kad moraš među ljudima raditi. I to je jedina  prednost imanja mužjaka pored sebe. Tako da se ponekad pitam da li trebam ipak imat mužjaka pored sebe da bih išta mogla napravit ili... ... ili... Možda se ja, jednostavno, moram naučiti živjeti u takvom okruženju bez mužjaka pored sebe. I zato te ponekad zbunjujem…

Just these days I thought that a lot of things are much easier when I am in relationship… Of course, if I am in relationship which is not so imprisoned for me… I mean, If he can fallow me to some level… and vice versa, of course… So it is much easier to move in society… due to my, you called this, women energy… I cause two basic reactions… one positive, the other negative… ha ha… That negative reaction is more often. By males is negative because they feel something is attracting them, and usually they are not single so they become nervous… or something attracts them, but they need to dominate, so… By females is negative reaction because they feel threatened… women are insecure and then they start to mark their territory. So, I do not feel good in such an atmosphere at all and I don’t want to bother myself with proofing I have no intention towards that what is their fear and then I withdraw. So, I cannot act in such an atmosphere. Simply I withdraw myself. When I am with someone then is less danger of such reactions… when you have male beside you it is implied that you are satisfied and you will not looking around, and then that function much better,bla… when you have to work with people. And that is the only one advantage of having male beside self. So, sometimes, I ask myself if I have to have some male beside to do anything or… … or… Maybe I have to learn to live in such environment without male beside, simply as that. And that is why you are confused with me sometimes…