Top lista / Top list

Ničim izazvan… „Što se tiče jedinstvenosti, jedan od mogućih odgovora je da nisi jedina osoba s kojom pričam tako otvoreno, ali si u top 3. Jedinstvena si u načinu na koji komuniciram s tobom i mojim osjećajima za tebe, kakvi god bili. Najkraći opis tih osjećaja bio bi „konfuzija“ jer mi nikako nije jasno kako mogu osjećati toliko različitih osjećaja prema jednoj te istoj osobi.“ „U kojoj kategoriji se natječem za medalje?“ „Za najveće zanovijetalo!“ Sjetilo me ovo na jedan vic: Dva zagorca pecaju i piju gemišt. Štef reče: "Mislim, da se bum razvel od svoje žene; već 2 meseca nije progovorila z menom." Joža peca , razmišlja, pije gemišt, i kaže: "Rađe se premisli Štef; takvu žensku je teško najti."

Nothing to be challenged… “Concerning about being unique, one of possible answers is that you are not the only one I am talking with so open, but you are in top 3. You are unique in the way I communicate with you and in my emotions for you, what ever they are. Description of that emotions in the shortest way would be “confusion”, for it is not clear for me at all, how can I feel so many different feelings towards one person.” “In which category I am competing for medals?” “For the biggest Nagger!” It reminded me on one joke: Two men from Zagorje (part of Croatia) are fishing and drinking wine with mineral water (one of national drinks). Steve says: “I think I will ask a divorce from my wife; already two months she didn’t speak with me.” John is fishing, thinking, drinking wine, and says: “It is better to think over, Steve; such a woman is difficult to find.”

Pitanja... i odgovori / Questions... and answers

Onda, imaš li još kakvih pitanja? Ma, izgubila sam volju pitati kad nikad ne dobivam odgovore… Kako si lijepo izbjegao odgovor na pitanje o jedinstvenosti, skrećući temu i laskajući. Nikad neću dobiti odgovor, zar ne? Hm, da, obično kad izbjegnem odgovor, znači da ti ga ne želim dati… Kakvo pitanje? Ma, znaš, pitao si me jesi li ti meni jedinstven. Nakon što sam ti odgovorila, pitala sam jesam li ja tebi… Ah, to? Naravno da ti neću reći! Svašta!!! Nekoliko dana poslije… Da, jako te volim i drago mi je družiti se s tobom… to bi trebalo biti dovoljno, za sad… ??? Je li to odgovor na neko moje pitanje? Ha, ha… hmmm… Mislim, ako je odgovor, reci na koje pitanje mi odgovaraš, da ga prekrižim i stavim u grupu odgovorenih pitanja… Da… Bilo bi mi lakše da mi daš neke naputke, prije nego samo izletiš sa zaključkom. Znam da pričaš sa mnom jako puno, pogotovo u svojoj glavi, ali ponekad mi je teško pratiti naše bezglasne razgovore, pogotovo kad je veći vremenski razmak… Još kasnije… Znači, nećeš me ženiti? Ne. Niti imati petnaestero djece sa mnom?? Ne. Neću biti ni dio tvog harema??? Taman posla! Pa da organiziraš sindikat i feministički pokret! Nisam lud!

So, do you have some more questions? Well, I am not in the mood, when I do not get any answers… You avoided in very nice way answering about unique, turning on other topics and flattering. I will never get an answer, will I? Hm, yes, usually, when I am avoiding an answer, it means I do not want to give it… What question? Well, you know, you have asked me if you are unique for me. When I have answered, I asked you the same… Oh, that? Of course I will not tell you! What idea!!! Some days later… Yes, I love you very much and I like to keep company with you… that would be enough for the present… ??? Is this an answer on some of my questions? Ha, ha… hmmm… I mean, if that is an answer, tell me on which question, so I can mark that question and put it in the group of answered ones… Yes… It will be much easier for me if I get some hints, before you give me conclusion. I know you talk with me very, very much, especially in your head, but sometimes it is very difficult for me following our voiceless talks, especially in longer time period… Later on… So, you will not marry me? No. Nor have fifteen children with me?? Nope. I will not be a part of your harem either??? Yes, right! You would organize trade union and feminism! I am not so crazy!

Jedinstvenost ili... / To be unique or...

… ego trip? Ili pak, sindrom ljubomornog sina/brata/sestre/kćeri… Neki dan… ne znam jesam li dobro čula/shvatila… kao da sam načula neku čudnu riječ... koju sam već čula... ti bi da si mi (ili nekom drugom) jedinstven??? OK… Prvo… sjećam se puno, puno toga o našim susretima… znam kad smo se upoznali i kad smo se zadnji put vidjeli (da, da i datume - dobro, morala sam provjeriti, ali znam mjesec i godinu)… sjećam se ne samo većine naših susreta, nego i energija povezanih s njima… nije li to dovoljno jedinstveno? Drugo… koliko vremena provodim s tobom? Bilo pričajući, bilo pišući pisma… u mislima? O, da, i ja sam u mislima s tobom, često, prečesto ponekad… izmjenjujući, dijeleći ljubav… i zbunjenost… jel dovoljno? Treće… govoreći jezikom današnjice… da nismo gdje smo i u izboru koji učinismo, već bismo završili u krevetu. Jel' ti to OK? Znam da nisam rekla da bi bilo zauvijek… ali mogu ti reći da te ne bih ostavila zbog drugog. Misliš li da bi i ti to mogao reći? Ali, drago mi je što nismo na razini uzimanja ili čak otimanja… Četvrto… jesam li ja (ili neka druga) tebi jedinstvena? Što to uopće znači i kako se mjeri? Glupošću? Ili je sve to samo ego trip? Nemoj biti glupi primitivni muškarac koji mora biti „prvi i jedini“. Tako, opet si me natjerao da razmislim... o našim (prikrivenim) potrebama da budemo nekom "cijeli svijet", zajedno sa zvijezdama... „skinutim s neba..." ... bla...

… an ego trip? Or, maybe, syndrome of jealous son/brother/sister/daughter… Some day… I don’t know, if I have heard/understood good… it seems I heard some strange word… I have heard before… you would like to be, for me (or someone else), unique??? OK… First of all… I remember a lot of our meetings… I know when we met for the first time, and when I saw you for the last time (yes, yes… and dates – OK, I had to check it out, but I know the month and the year)… I remember, not only the most of our meetings, but also the energies connected with those… isn’t it unique enough, is it? Second… how much time I spend with you? By talking, by writing letters… by thoughts? O, yes, I am in thoughts with you, also, often, to often sometimes… interchanging, sharing love… and confusion… is this good enough? Third… speaking in nowadays terms… if we were not where we are with the choices we have made, probably we would sleep together. Is this OK for you? I know I did not say, it would last for ever… but I can say that I would not leave you because of someone else. Do you think you would say the same? But, I am glad that we are not on the level of taking or wringing… Forth… am I (or someone else) unique for you? What does it mean and how you can measure it? By stupidity? Or that all is just an ego trip? Don’t be stupid, primitive man who must be “the first and the only one”. So, again, you made me think… about our (hidden) needs to be “The whole world” to someone... with “you’ll bring the stars to me”… blah…

Stvaranje / Creation

- Aj'd, baci pogled… ne kužim neke stvari… - Malo to estetski sredi, gospođo Dizajner ;) - A, jesi zahtjevan!! Pa naravno da ću srediti.... a TI ćeš mi pomoći!!! Fizikalac jedan!!!! - A... kako ću ubaciti ovo? Jel' da se vidi istovremeno? Mogu li koristiti tablicu, pa da su jedno pored drugog, ili moram jedno ispod drugog? Ili može gumbek neki???? :D - Ovo mi je skroz neprepoznatljivo!!! - I zašto u posljednje vrijeme stavljaš hrpu uskličnika kad mi se obraćaš???? - Tko? Ja!!!!! Niš ja neznam! - I zakaj sad imam ove čudne znakove??? Hoću da se vide naši znakovi!!!! I hoću... - Zeza me tekst... stalno ode kam hoće :D - Ma doći će on tebi pod bič, ovaj kontrolu :) - Halo??? - Aj' vidi kako ti se ovo sad sviđa... :) Zanimljivo… uvijek, kad mi je bura u umu, emocijama, ti tiho nestaneš, povučeš se u neku mirnu luku, čekajući da bura prođe… a inače nisi baš strpljiv… :) I sve se slegne, kao da ništa nije bilo… odjednom mir, nakon nevremena… tek pokoja olupina nasukana na obali…

- Take a look… I don’t understand some things… - You have to rearrange this, in esthetical way, Madame Designer ;) - Grrr, you are so demanding!! Of course I will fix it… and YOU will help me!!! You, physical worker!!!! - A… how will I get this? To see it at the same time? Can I use a table, so it can be one beside another, or I have to place one under another? Or maybe some button, the small one???? :D - This is absolutely unrecognizable!!! - And why you put so many exclamation marks, lately, when you are addressing to me???? - Who? Me!!!!! I don’t know anything! - And why I have those strange marks??? I want our marks!!! And I want… - Text is kidding me… always it goes where it wants :D - Well, it will come under your whip, khmm, I mean, control :) - Hellooo??? - Take a look… How do you like this, now… :) Interesting… always, when there is a storm in my mind, emotions, you get lost, quietly, withdrawn in some peaceful port, waiting for the storm to pass… and usually you are not so patient… :) And everything is going calm, as if nothing was at all… suddenly, peace, after storm… some wreck only, stranded on the shore…

Ćaskanje... / Chat...

Ž: Jesi dobio SMS? M: Jesam. Bio sam ugodno iznenađen. Ž: Zakaj ugodno??? :) M: Trebao sam biti neugodno? Ž: Pa, obično kad se ja javim, razljutim te :)  M: ;-) Samo kad se praviš pametna ;) Ž: ja se nikad ne pravim!!! :) Ali, nisi mi odgovorio... :) (na pitanje) M: ?? Ž: Pa, iznenađen nisi trebao biti jer ti ga obećah... Znači da je neobično bilo što je iznenađenje bilo ugodno :) M: Nisam čuo da si obećala Ž: OK, rekla sam da ću nazvati, a dobio si SMS, neobećani :)

F: Did you get SMS? M: I did. I was pleasantly surprised. F: Why pleasantly??? :) M: Should I have been unpleasantly surprised? F: Well, usually, when I call, I made you angry :) M: ;) only when you are pretending that you are smart ;) F: I am not pretending, ever!!! :) But, you did not answer… :) (on my question) M: ?? F: Well, you should not be surprised because I promised to send you (the answer)… So, the unusual thing was that surprise was pleasant :) M: I did not hear that you promised F: OK, I said I will call, and you have got SMS, unpromised :)