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Svaki put kad sam izdala sebe, dio mene je počeo vrištati… što ih je više, jače vrište… kako ih iscijeliti?
Vrištim jer sam nečujena. Jer samu sebe nisam čula, nisam htjela čuti.
Svaki put kad sam drugima dala prednost, iako sam znala ishod, nisam čula sebe, ignorirala sam sebe, kao što me ni drugi nisu čuli ili me ušutkavaše, dio mene je zašutio izvana, a zavrištao iznutra…
I što sad? Sad svi ti nečujeni dijelovi mene, vrište… vrište drugima da ih čuju, a ja ih i dalje ignoriram i čudim se… i dalje ih utišavam, jer ih ne prihvaćam.
Prihvatim li ih, zagrlim li ih, hoće li biti sretni? Ne znam. Hoću li ja biti sretna? Ne znam. Hoće li drugi biti sretni? Boli me k…
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Every time I betrayed myself, a part of me started screaming… the more of them there are, the louder they scream… how to heal them?
I scream because I am unheard. Because I didn’t hear myself, I didn’t want to hear myself.
Every time I gave others priority, even though I knew the outcome, I didn’t hear myself, I ignored myself, just as others didn’t hear me or silenced me, a part of me fell silent on the outside, and screamed on the inside… and now what?
Now all those unheard parts of me, scream… scream for others to hear them, and I continue to ignore them and wonder… I continue to silence them, because I don’t accept them.
If I accept them, if I embrace them, will they be happy? I don’t know. Will I be happy? I don’t know. Will others be happy? I don’t give a sh… |
